The Age of the Caves media: homo and homo carazensis roncerus

(...) It was not a penalty. Yes it was a penalty. Yellow striker to be thrown away. Penalty as a cathedral. The referees always help the club. The referees carry a lifetime helping to Madrid. At our get hit more. To you honk more penalties. Whenever you play against ten. Llorones! Villarato! Franco DiStefano robbed us (...)

The previous paragraph recreates a conversation between two hominid types of tribes representing the Age of the Caves media: homo and homo roncerus carazensis. Both species coexist in a total symbiosis: they can not live without each other and each other and desperately needed to justify its own existence. If one of the two missing (scenario improbable weed never dies), the other would feel lost and doomed to extinction, or at least, to take an evolutionary leap for survival in a whole new world. Here we offer a brief description of the main features of each.

Homo roncerus

Homo roncerus pays homage to the god Santiago Bernabeu, but who raised most of their prayers is the Spirit of Juanito, a spectral entity that dwells in Chamartin and every night you hear a series of EVP that seem to say: "castaaaaa "" honoooooor "," ninety minuti nel Bernabeu .... " The roncerus not been able to digest that, although once prevailed in much of the Iberian territory, now another hominid, carazensis, which is dominant. But far from recognizing its share of blame for this, justifies everything from climate change that has occurred in their environment, in which all the forces have conspired against him. The only reason exists for his kind will not be able to impose its law on all others is that their natural habitat has been corrupted.

After five years in the oven roncerus clear decline has become to trust their fate to the great Caesar, Florentino Perez, half the prodigal son, Emperor half-life. In his second term called Higher entrusted with the mission to recover ground lost to a prophet come from foreign lands, the Portuguese Jose Mourinho, who in just six months has become the Chosen One, the only one who will be able to give back to the Promised Land, that place that it deserves roncerus believed by divine auspices.

The first verse of the Bible version roncerus White is "Real Madrid is above everything," and continues: "the other peoples who inhabit the earth are submission and obedience to Real Madrid and Real Madrid is the duty of all to make the law is enforced at the expense of his own life. " Such is the irrationality of homo roncerus faith that, in a situation that offers a host of logical reasons, are unable to find explanations without resorting to a series of mystical and esoteric beliefs push him to engender the most eccentric range of conspiracies ever seen. They are never guilty of anything, never wrong: all that happens is the fault of others, which are all in cahoots to make life impossible, they say, resentment, jealousy and envy pig.

The homo carazensis

The character of homo carazensis is strongly marked by a past of suffering ill-digested in which, except for some times, has always been below roncerus homo. A few years ago was evangelized, and embraced monotheism and, since then, his one true god is Johan Cruyff. Until recently applauded the sermons of the former rabbi Joan Laporta, but have had no qualms about giving back (no matter who you are finished eating lions), while, on the other hand, have embraced a New Testament written from the doctrines of the Messiah, Pep Guardiola, the Son of God, the Anointed One, the Infallible, the One who mea colony. His word is the word of God and therefore could be made that mistake once.

For carazensis, Madrid (or the Plateau, as they call it) is the new Sodom and Gomorrah, a city dominated by vice and immorality, and Mourinho is the false prophetembodies all the evils. Consequently, there are few sentences that pray on the Day of Judgement, when the Portuguese will receive his punishment and will burn in hell for all eternity, punished to attend the same play to the end of the day, a tragicomedy entitled The Luso deluded.

The oven has lived many generations carazensis feeling inferior is now unable to enjoy your great time without going to the suffering of his rival and, consequently, his true happiness comes most of the suffering of his enemy than his own fortune. Now the carazensis despises any other way of life as compared with them, other species are a commonplace sinners. Yours and yours alone is excellence and, therefore, they deserve only eternal glory. Homo carazensis is so large, it feels so superior that occasionally penetrates into enemy territory and up the mountain known as Punta Ball for face to face with the roncerus, clashing with ancient dances and chanting guttural hardly intelligible to the rest hominid.

The roncerus and carazensis are the two most striking of our environment, but not unique, there are the homo relañensis (also called homo villaratus), homo carrascus (commonly known as lupus), homo indaster (or brand-quetalis) ... Unfortunately, for now we stay here because our Department of Anthropology is a threatened strike by ERE. Perhaps in the future delve a bit more in our media rich and wild biodiversity.

Image | Frame Quest for Fire (La guerre du feu, 1981), directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud, based on the novel by JH Rosny